Saturday , 13 May 2023.
OK. So it’s time to take stock. Yesterday was five months since diagnosis. I’ve had the defining chat with Dr Caitlin Bowden, then a two hour trip in a car chatting with Tracey who gave me a lift, came into Oncology with me and is lending me a room in her house. I’ve been here just over five weeks.
So. What’s occurrin’?
House and location. All good here. I like it here, both in terms of Tracey’s house and south Hampshire. More anon.
There was a property inspection of my place in Cheltenham on 27th April. I got hammered — unfairly and unreasonably in my opinion. My response listed 22 objections and there are more to come. Simon has smashed my back garden, a big weight off my mind. Tracey is smoothly unfazed by the prospect of getting me out of that house or me staying here a while longer.
I feel surprisingly calm about the house, and benefits. For the first time in eight years. With Tracey’s help I have a plan. The plan was made concrete by Oncology. Became real having spoken to both my sons yesterday. Tracey’s not here for the weekend and I feel for the first time in six weeks, deflated. If someone’s around I am on best behaviour, working on stuff mentally and feel better for it. Today, on my own, and I like being on my own in the house, is reality day. This is your future, mate. If you live. Are you ready for it?
A future alive but probably alone?
Yes and no.
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